WEIGHT LOSS: Feed Your Body, Not Your Brain!

I recently attended a fabulous weight loss seminar run by veteran Martha Beck coach, Brooke Castillo.  She’s awesome! The program really got to the heart of the matter for me – so I’d like to give you a “taste” of what it’s about and perhaps start you on a road to recovery if your weight issue is related to eating when you are not physically hungry.  If this is not your issue, stop reading and go do something more fun!

In short, the key concept to this weight loss program is: get in touch with, and honor your body! Listen to your body when it tells you it is hungry or full!  Because if you only eat when you are physically hungry, and eat only to satisfaction, not fullness – your body will find its natural, thinner weight. Notice I did not say you can’t eat ice cream or even French Fries.   I did not say you can only eat 100 calories per sitting.  The only rule is, eat when you are physically hungry and stop when you are almost full.  As we all know, if you eat more than your body needs as fuel – you gain weight. Duh, we all know this stuff– so why is it so hard to do it? 

Generally, unless you have a medical condition (and I don’t mean obesity – which I classify as an outcome, not a cause of overeating) there is nothing in your body that compels you to overeat.  However, your brain may compel you to overeat.  By brain, I mean your thoughts – which trigger emotions! For many of us, in an effort to avoid experiencing or dealing with emotions, we overeat.

My personal example is that to avoid a project or a meeting that wasn’t going to be fun, I unconsciously stuffed myself with huge quantities of M&M’s.  “Unconsciously” means that while I knew what I was doing, it was as if I had no control over my impulses. And, because I was not actually hungry, there was no satiation point.  My body was not asking for food, my brain was resisting a negative thought “I don’t want to do this anymore” that turned into an emotional hunger for comfort that I fed with M&M’s.  How many M&M’s does it take to make a negative thought go away? Let me tell you, there aren’t enough in the universe.

While the M&M’s didn’t solve the underlying problem, eating so many created new ones: I didn’t feel well and my pants didn’t fit.  So rather than deal with the real issue of changing my circumstances or reframing them, I focused on the new issue: my weight problem.   

Nice story, but now what? Castillo suggests that you get back in touch with your body (your hunger) and your mind (your thoughts)! Because your body and your mind are here to serve you – if you learn to work with them, you really do have choices.    

 The first step of healing for me was to NOTICE what was going on:  I had to become conscious.  As you know, you can’t fix a problem if you don’t acknowledge that there is one. 

Try becoming a scientist (not a critic) of your own behavior and listen for that small inner voice that tells you what is really going on with you. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself every time you turn to food for comfort or a distraction.  For now, it may be enough just take note of your answers:

1)      Am I physically hungry?  (Clue: usually you will feel hunger in your stomach, not in your chest.)

2)      If I am not physically hungry, but heading toward the candy jar, the vending machine, etc, what is going on?  Is there a thought in my head that I am trying to avoid or that causes discomfort? What is that thought? E.g. my son really pissed me off, I hate this situation, my thighs are too fat or gosh, I’m bored, tired…etc, etc.

3)      If and when you find   the troubling thought,   can you write it down and acknowledge it?  Is there another way to deal with the real issue?  If you’re bored, what could you do that’s less boring?  If you are tired, can you take a nap? If you need comfort, is there some other nice thing you can do for yourself besides eating? Maybe take a bath or read a book? If it’s a really deep, scary, or chronic issue, can someone else help you?  It’s okay if your answer to these questions is no, but ask yourself if food is what you really want.  You will create the possibility of consciousness just by asking!

4)      If you go ahead and eat the food when you aren’t hungry, see if you can eat it slowly, enjoy it, and taste every bite. If you are like I was, this step will be impossible during an emotional binge.  In any case, don’t beat yourself up! It doesn’t do a darn thing to create long-term weight loss (and you know that’s true if you’ve been struggling with weight for years), so quit it.

5)       Keep track of what you do and how it feels – in one of my next posts, I‘ll give you a brief overview of how to work through the thoughts and feelings.

That’s all for now:  Step one:  Be a scientist of your own behavior. I will tell you that it has worked for me.  It was tough at first, but I haven’t binged on M&M’s (or anything else!) for a long, long time, and a few pounds have magically disappeared without changing my work outs!  

 If you want to dive in deeper, check out Martha Beck’s book, The Four Day Win . You can also get coaching  - and check out Brooke Castillo’s site which has a ton of amazing resources including  her terrific book,  If I’m so Smart, Why Can’t I Lose Weight?

Eat More to Lose Weight?

While in most cases, you need to cut calories to lose weight, if you’ve been yo-yo dieting, you might actually need to eat more to lose weight!  Why? Eating too little food can cause your metabolism to slow down – and sure enough, you will stop losing weight.  How frustrating is that?

Several sources substantiate that when you eat fewer calories than you need for basic biological function (estimated at something less than 1,200  calories/day for most people), your body throws the brakes on your metabolism.  Lynne Smiley, PhD at the University of Arizona wrote a terrific explanation of this in November 2009.  She says that humans have the physiological ability to adapt their metabolism to low-calorie diets, (a biological response that was very helpful in the old days when we were trying to survive famines). When calories are not available, the body reduces the calories it needs to function and conserves more fat to survive the famine. 

Each time the body experiences a famine (or a very low-calorie diet masquerading as a famine) the body improves its ability to conserve fat.  Therefore, after a prolonged very low-calorie diet, if you resume eating a little more, weight gain begins – and at the same time, your metabolism has slowed!  So each time you follow a very low-calorie diet, you will lose less weight but then gain more fat as your body continues to get better at adapting to fewer calories.  YIKES!

An article in Prevention Magazine featuring Dr. Dan Benardot, sports nutritionist and author, agrees. Benardot adds that extremely low-calorie diets break down calorie-burning muscle tissue to use as energy.  To remedy this, he suggests that you eat just enough so you’re not hungry–a 150-calorie snack midmorning and mid-afternoon between three meals (about 430 calories each) – to keep your metabolism humming.

Additionally, a 1950 study known as the Minnesota Starvation Experiment by Ancel Keys confirms that a reduction in metabolic rate results from undernourishment.  The study also shows that prolonged semi-starvation produces significant increases in depression, hysteria and hypochondria.  That means that extremely restricted diets may not just mess with your metabolism – but with your head as well; not a good thing!

Life Coach Martha Beck cites the Minnesota study in her weight loss book, The 4-Day Win and adds more bad news: that overeating and putting on fat is the normal psychological response just to the expectation of being hungry.  She calls this “famine brain.”

So what can you do if you’ve been yo-yo dieting with super low calories?  The answer for most people, according to Smiley and to Benardot, is to eat more appropriately. Smiley says it may take a couple of months of normal eating until your body recognizes that the “Feast or Famine Cycle” has stopped and will not start again.(Yes, you may gain some weight during that time – but you can lose it!) Then, you can start reducing your daily calorie intake SLOWLY, by only 200 or 300 calories.  At the same time, you should increase your daily activity to only burn 200 – 300 calories more.  Smiley suggests that this is a safe calorie reduction method that won’t trigger your body to adapt its metabolism downward, and can result in permanent weight loss of one half to one pound of fat per week.  

What if eating too few calories is NOT your weight loss issue?  Stay tuned….more to come in a future post.

Need more specifics from the Smiley article? Article by Lynne Smiley, Phd

To read more of the Prevention article:  http://www.prevention.com/health/news-voices/in-the-magazine/high-metabolism-diet/article/8ce5ba3c05da7110VgnVCM10000013281eac____

Change Your Life in Just One Minute

You’ve been without oxygen for two minutes…one minute more – and you’re dead. Why do we undervalue the importance of one single minute?  Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps set new world records by seconds; Won races by fractions of a second.  Minutes do count.

Any small change you make for the better can start with just one minute.  One minute of mindfulness, one minute of meditation, one minute more of exercise – can be the start of a whole new you.  So don’t be so fast to undervalue a small amount of time.  Take for example, the coaching client who is new to exercise.  He might say apologetically, “Well, I only ran for ten minutes.”  Why isn’t that enough?  Can we appreciate that minutes are important and that over time, they add up?

Here are some more examples of what can happen in a minute:

• Miss your flight to that important event
• Enjoy your baby’s first smile
• Have an orgasm
• Avoid a deadly collision
• Lose a race or a game – or the Boston Marathon!

I’m sure you can come up with 50 more examples.

In short, every minute can be powerful.  You can start a new desired behavior for just five minutes a day and add a minute more every week. Eventually you will create powerful new behaviors or even overcome a bad habit.   So get with it:  Write your book for just 10 minutes a day, go to bed 15 minutes earlier, straighten up your nasty office for five minutes – whatever  you need –it’s okay to start small (maybe even stay small) and  make your minutes count.  Most importantly, do your best to enjoy every minute; minutes are what your life is made of.

Nine More Steps to Better Finances

According to a Wall Street Journal article by Karen Blumenthal, most of us would like to save more, earn more and spend more wisely in 2010.  To help you do just that, Blumenthal put together a year’s worth of personal-finance suggestions, which I’ve summarized below.  She suggests you tie these activities to major holidays – I suggest you try one a month – or whatever works for you!  Even if you do just one of these things you will be better off!  The road to change begins with one tiny step.

• Save more. Take a few minutes to set up an automatic deduction from either your paycheck or your checking account to an online or a bank savings account. Or, increase your contribution to your 401(k) by one percentage point. Commit at least half of any raise you receive this year to savings as well.

• Get educated. Take an hour or two over a long weekend to study up on one financial issue that you’ve ignored. For example, look up the expenses embedded in the mutual funds in your 401(k) or calculate how much your debt is costing you.

• Prepare for new credit-card rules. In late February, the second phase of the Credit Card Act will kick in. To be prepared, look at your credit-card bills to memorize your due dates, which, by law, will be the same each month. Paying your bills on time is the most important factor in your creditworthiness.

• Get your annual credit report.  Take advantage of the once-a-year freebie and check your credit report for accuracy and to help avoid identity theft. If you want an idea of what your score is, buy the FICO score, developed by Fair Isaac Corp., and avoid signing up for a monitoring service, which isn’t worth the cost.

• Have “that” conversation with kids or parents.  Talk to your adult children or your parents—or both—about your or their estate, philanthropic goals and other wishes. If your children are still at home, start a conversation about money and investing. Prepare a will or draw up papers for a health-care proxy or power of attorney. Don’t avoid these issues until it’s too late.

• Declare your financial independence. After the first half of the year is over, review your portfolio to be sure you’re still properly diversified in a comfortable mix of stocks, fixed income and cash. If you don’t feel confident making these decisions, find a financial adviser to help you. Check references and interview a few to be you mesh well—and that their fees are reasonable.

• Tame monthly bills. Review your biggest monthly expenses to see if you can find some l savings. Can you combine cable, phone and Internet services in a lower monthly rate? Refinance the mortgage?

• Don’t let gift cards go to waste. Round up your unused gift cards and use them for yourself or for gifts for others, swap them with family members or donate them to a charity.

• Reflect on what’s most valuable to you. What do you truly value? Were your best-spent dollars for a night of theater with friends, or a great trip? Consider the most meaningful ways for you to spend your money.

To get in touch with WSJ original writer, contact Karen Blumenthal at familymoney@wsj.com  or view the entire article at http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704234304574626042291925748.html?mod=WSJ_PersonalFinance_FamilyFinance#articleTabs%3Darticle

Better Financial Management Using Four Simple Questions

I don’t like to spend time on my finances – but when I don’t, I get a vague feeling of anxiety:  Like what’s going to come back to bite me in the ass?  I get the guilty feeling that I should do more, but there are so many other ways I prefer to spend my time. So, while I relegate such tasks to others whenever I can, I also know there is a certain amount of accountability I owe to myself to avoid spinning out into a giant black hole.    If you’re a financial genius just skip this post, but if not, I found a place to start that might work for you.   While watching the morning news, I caught a segment called “How to Avoid Getting Ripped Off.” Author Bob Sullivan was interviewed, and while I don’t give a hoot about some of the stuff he said like, Americans stink at math – (is it even true? And if it is, how is that information helpful to me?)  he had four awesome questions that I believe everyone  should be able to answer :

1)      What is your retirement account balance?

2)      What is the interest rate on your credit cards?

3)      How much money did you spend last month? (and I would add, for the last three months?)

4)      How much money do you need to survive for three months?

I loved these questions as the foundation for managing my financial life.  Knowing the answers can result in better financial decision making:  like if I’ve been spending about $6,000 a month for the last three months on average – how much of that is fluff – versus what I need to survive? If I got a roommate and quit eating out, could I reduce the survival number to $4,000?  Then, if I lost my job I know I better have about $12,000 in savings to keep me afloat while I look for a new one!  Should I be buying on credit above my means if I am paying 17% interest on my credit card, and only earning 2% on my investments?    As you can see, applying the answers to some simple questions can help me plan a whole lot better.

In short, remember there are two variables:  how much you are bringing in and how much you are paying out.  If you spend more than you make, you may be headed for trouble – or you’d better land a higher paying job or an inheritance! To stay out of trouble: know what you’ve been spending, create a budget, and manage to it the best way you can, start to prepare (save)for the future including possible issues like job loss.  Know who is charging you what and make changes where you need to.  Pretty simple to follow – and it makes me feel a whole lot better.   Thanks Bob!  

Watch the interview: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/34619370#34619370 or visit Bob’s blog http://redtape.msnbc.com/

Going To NYC? Keep it Fresh!

Are you a frequent traveler to NYC?  I grew up a New Yorker – and I love that city.  I go as often as I can and I am constantly seeking new adventures while there.  But I find I have gotten stuck in a rut lately, going to Central Park, shopping in Soho, see a Broadway show - same old thing! 

This past weekend, there was a terrific article in Sunday’s New York Times about cool things to do if you have 36 hours to spend in NY.   I’m putting it into my TAKE ACTION folder. (This is where I put ideas, plans, etc. that I want to get done to keep my life fun, fresh,  and on track.)  This article looks really juicy with lots of new ideas.  Check it out here with this permalink:   http://travel.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/travel/10hours.html 

It’s  called 36 Hours in New York City and appeared on  January 10, 2010.  Since I love to walk,  I am especially excited to visit the City’s new  High Line park,  www.thehighline.org a popular linear park created on what was once an abandoned freight rail line near West 13th and Washington Street.  I’m also excited to visit  the Lower East Side ‘s New Museum of Contemporary Art (235 Bowery at Prince Street; 212-219-1222; www.newmuseum.org).  According to writer Amy Virshup, the museum was designed by the Japanese firm Sanaa to look like a series of off-kilter boxes, and opened to raves in 2007.  Somehow, I haven’t been there yet!

So wherever you go, whatever you do, I hope it’s fun!

You Choose Your Life Everyday – So Choose Well

Good article on life and wellness coaching in the Boston Globe this week called “When a Coach May Help”  The article begins to address some of the issues around life coaching and discusses the relationship between coaching and therapy. http://www.boston.com/news/health/articles/2010/01/04/coaching_as_an_alternative_to_therapy?mode=PF 

According to interviewee in the article, “Therapy helps you overcome the challenges of the past and coaching helps you very clearly identify your vision of the future. Coaching is a process of change that revolves around strengths and potential, rather than feelings of pathology and pain.’’

As a life and career coach, of course I am biased and believe that coaching can be immensely worthwhile, but I also have my eyes wide open to the challenges of this industry. First, life coach is a cheesy sounding name.  Second, the industry is not well-regulated after the certification process is over. That means that  you can encounter the good, the bad and the just plain ugly;  of course, that is also true in many service professions – from yoga teachers to doctors and lawyers.  

Third, coaching and therapy often coexist very well, but there are times that therapy is needed and coaching is not helpful.  By the same token, if you are struggling to get a creative project off the ground or you want to switch careers, coaching  is probably more appropriate than therapy!

With the fast pace of change in our world, each of us as consumers must be more informed about,  and take more resposibility for everything we do – from health care to finances.  You and I must decide what is right for us.  And that is part of what Seven Layer Living is about for me.  Through this blog and eventually my newsletter,  I plan to bring essential information to readers so that they can make better decisions for themselves and get closer to what I call “total wellness ” and good personal decision-making.  It’s my calling!

With that, always remember – you choose your life everyday.  So be conscious,  be informed, and be true to what is right for you.  At the end of the day, that’s all you can do.

For Resolutions that Stick, Envision Your Results!

Happy New Year!  I found myself very tired on New Year’s Eve.  Upon reflection,  I realized that not only was the year over, but also a decade -  one in which I moved three thousand miles, lost loved ones, survived being the mother of a teenager, changed jobs three times and reinvented a marriage.  No wonder I’m tired. But today, I feel energized. It’s a new beginning and I have a vision.

I considered setting the usual set of New Year’s resolutions, but instead, this year, I started with a vision.  What’s the difference you ask? Well, most of us actually set goals when we set resolutions.  For example, “I will lose five pounds and fall in love by spring.”  That’s fine on January 1, when we are recovering from the holidays and are all gung-ho – but after about four weeks, these kinds of resolutions may start to look like a long to-do list; which in turn may start to resemble dull, burdensome obligations! 

A vision however, feels richer and more alive to me than a goal. It contains emotional meaning.  I really like the way yogi Bo Forbes describes “vision” in her Yoga Journal article “Stuck in a Rut?” http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/1318?page=3 

“When we create a vision for our new pattern, we must give it a life force more vital than the old one. We need to convince ourselves that it is real. We use our senses and emotions to bring it to life: What does it look, smell, or feel like? The more we visualize (and experience) the new pattern, the more real and compelling it becomes.”

I find that I can get excited about my vision.  Consider:  “I am healthy, thin, strong and fit and enjoying a fabulous love life,” verses “I will lose 5 pounds and fall in love by spring.” 

Working with a vision, I can literally see myself already achieving my goals in my mind’s eye. I feel it, I see it, I believe it.  I envision it!  My dream of myself motivates me. Now that I am motivated, I also set specific, measurable goals to help my vision come to life, such as:

• Consume 50% less sugar, salt and caffeine weekly than I have in the previous three months
• Work out vigorously three times a week, 45 minutes each: swim, bike or run
• Identify and attend social events once a week with fabulously interesting men and women who share common interests with me

Get the idea? 

So why not skip the vision part and go right to the goals?  Well, when February rolls around and I am losing steam on the goals, I return to my vision. When I can see who I am in that vision and how I feel, it is very compelling to stay on track with my goals. Envisioning gives my goals life and keeps me working until I get results that will make me feel oh-so good.